It's happening...

My baby girl is going to be two years old tomorrow. I can't believe it!! I would actually say that I've been struggling to come to terms with the fact that my "baby" is not actually a baby anymore.. She's a big girl now, and she tells me all about it.

Some people know about my pregnancy and all the hardships we went through but it's not something I talk about a lot... When I was four months pregnant, we went to find out the gender of the jelly bean that was swimming around in my belly. We found out it was a GIRL, but we also found out that the little shrimp had a heart problem. Her heart rate was 270 beats per minute. It should have been between 120 and 160. SCARY. We went through a lot of tests and medications and even a week long hospital stay that ended with a doctor telling us that Emma's heart was not beating.. It was more like it was quivering. She was starting to have some fluid around her heart which is a sign of heart failure.. They said if she did have heart failure, she would die in the womb... I can't explain the thoughts and feelings that surge through my soul even at this moment, two years later.. It was like losing a piece of myself.. A hole that can never be filled quite the same way ever again.... Who knew that you could love someone so much that you've never seen or met? It's indescribable.

We were transferred to a Fetal Cardiologist at Primary Children's Hospital. He was adament that they would get everything under control... Several tests, two medications for heart failure, and another week long hospital stay later and we were on our way home with a itty-bitty baby with a teeny-tiny heart that was beating regularly, still in my belly of course.

That was the beginning of my brand new life.. It was the moment that I truly realized that you can't take even one moment for granted.. You never get that moment back. When we weren't sure whether or not Emma would be born, I imagined all the things I would say to her if I ever got to meet her... I say those things to her every day. I don't know if it's possible to tell someone you love them too often but I'd bet I come close to the limit. I can't stop admiring her beauty, enjoying her sense of humor, being in awe of the knowledge that little girl already has about life and love. It's one thing to see a child and marvel at how they've grown since the last time you saw them. It's completely different to watch a child grow and develop right before your eyes. It is truly amazing!

Emma is funny.

Emma tells everyone she is six. I don't know what compells her to say that but it makes my whole day!!

I can't believe she is going to be two in a few weeks... SAD FACE.

Time keeps slipping away...

I can't believe it's been a year since I married the love of my life... Reminiscing about our special day is so fun!! We had the best time ever!

Football season!

I LOVE football season.. For several reasons: FOOD, family and foul language. A great time had by all. Our family is made up of die-hard Chargers fans. We ♥ the Chargers! Even when they lose (like last night).

This picture is when we were newly-daters. I have a hilarious video of Matt watching a Chargers game that wasn't going so well but I think he'd kill me if I posted it. :) But look how cute we were! Young and in love!!

Not too long after this pic was taken, we found out there was a itty-bitty Chargers fan in my belly! Come to think of it, that's probably why Emma is prone to swearing these days. She sat in on a lot of football games and not one of them went by without someone yelling bad words....

Here's a picture of Cabria, a future Charger's Girl! She is the cutest thing since, well... EVER! I love her so much!

Cabria, Trace and Baby Emma!!!

Here we are at the Charger's Stadium! Look how happy we all look. Hahaha!

I can't wait for the next game! Hopefully we'll play better than we did last night. Say some prayers, football fans!

My favorite face..

Hello Autumn!!

Fall is my FAVORITE season of ever! I think it just makes me feel so cozy... The weather cools down so you can start wearing snuggly sweaters, the leaves change color, pumpkins start showing up on porches... I just love it!! You see school buses on every corner and the school zone signs are flashing.. Leaves are bustling around the sidewalks and yards. It just makes me want to live in a small town where everybody knows everbody elses business and they all go to a Fall Festival and talk about each other and the legend of so-and-so and have dances out in the park.

Almost forgot the best part of Fall.... Football!! Go Chargers!

Life is a bitch..

I'm working on coming back to the Land of Blog but with work and LIFE and moving and LIFE, I have not had a spare moment..

I have a few projects in the works and I'll post some pics of those next week.

For now, here's Lulu looking gorgeous as always! And, as per usual, Sissy Mandy took this beautiful photo. :)

Little Girl, Big World...

Yesterday, I took Emma on a walk. She was pointing at everything and I would tell her what it was and she would try to repeat it. We got to a tree and I said, "Tree," she waved and said "Hi tree!"

The latest project..

I've become a blog stocker these days. I find random blogs and link to other blogs from their pages.. My sis-in-law got me started on it.. I just can't get enough!! I wish I had an ounce of the creativity that these people seem to have in their littlest fingertip..

These are a few of my faves right now.

www.thepioneerwoman.com (Of course, because duh... Who doesn't follow this lady?)
www.kevinandamanda.com Love her tips and tricks for EVERYTHING! Plus, the fonts are to die for.

http://abeautifulmess.typepad.com/my_weblog/ I pretty much just wish I were this girl.. She's freakin' awesome times a million.

http://createloves.blogspot.com/

http://samstermommy.blogspot.com/

I just love the DIY bloggers.. It's so fun to see all the different ideas people come up with.

And that brings us to my latest project... It's super secret but it will be amazing!! I can't wait to finish (or start hahaha).

This is the starting point. I'll post more as I go...

Well...

I'm kind of a shitty blogger these days.. I never have time to update and when I do have time, I forget to bring my SD card. SOON THOUGH!! I'm sure my poor Grandma looks at my blog every now and then hoping for a picture of Emma and all she gets are my rants and raves about coffee and ghosts.

This is the best I can come up with today. It's almost a year old but it's super cute...

Hi Grandma!!! Miss you and love you!!