Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

I feel like I've spent my whole life waiting for the next thing to come along. When I was young, I couldn't wait to grow up, just like every other kid. I hated school but loved learning. I wanted to chase my dreams and never look back or have anyone looking over my shoulder. I couldn't wait to drive, graduate, become an "adult." hahaha.... All that came and went and then I wanted to do the next thing that came into my head, and the next and the next. And so it went...

Then, suddenly, my entire life changed. I met Matt, spun around and around in a whirlwind of emotions, fell in love. I started dreaming of new things. And then we found out we were going to have a baby. And I thought, well, that's it! Dream time is over!

The day we found out we were going to be mommy and daddy to a little girl, we also found out that our little jelly bean had a heart problem. Several times we were told that she may not make it. Even now, thinking of the things the doctors said causes my chest to collapse just a little bit. I can't believe there was a possibility that Emma may have not been in our lives at all.

Everyone knows the end of the sad part of the story.. Emma got through everything. She was a healthy and happy baby who lit up the world! Mine and Matt's world, anyway. And the best part is, I had new dreams to look forward to. All of her firsts which happen faster than you can ever imagine. All of the things she will do and who she will become. She is so beautiful... I find myself just staring at her, wishing I could freeze each individual moment and hold onto it for just a few seconds longer.

I see some mothers who are frustrated with their children, they're tired and they have no patience left for those little grabbing hands and whining voices.. Not saying I haven't been there because I have. I just think that if, just once, somebody came to them and said, "Your child might not make it through today." Their whole outlook would change. They would hang on to those little grabbing hands and never ever let go. They would cherish every laugh and even some of the cries and whines... They would try to hang on every moment with their little ones.

I feel so blessed to have made it through that time. To have been able to hold my little girl day after day and tell her how much she means to me. She has a lot of health problems but luckily, nothing that has tried to take her from me again. I never want to forget what almost losing someone you love so much feels like, as awful as that sounds... I never want to go through the motions with my loved ones. I want them to know how precious they are to me.

In seven weeks, we will be welcoming a baby boy into our little family. I can't wait to meet him and care for him and watch him grow. I just wish that for today, these moments with Emma would last a little longer than normal...