A GIANT...

Rape whistle. One big rape whistle... That's what I think of whenever I hear about OnStar.....

A few years ago, my mom insisted I carry a whistle on my keychain because, "You never know." I tried to reason with her but in her mind, a rape whistle was the best weapon of defense. Her main issue was, "What if you get into an accident and you can't get out of the car? You could blow your whistle and someone will come find you."

My response, "MOM... That's what cell phones are for."

Mom- "What if you can't reach your cell phone?"

Me- "If I can't reach my cell phone that is practically glued to my face, what makes you think I'd be able to reach my keys?"

Mom- "You'll be able to."

"How do you know?"

"I KNOW."

Me- "Ok, mom.. So if I get into an accident, I'm trapped in the car and I blow my magic whistle, I'll be saved, right?? When's the last time you heard a whistle and went searching for where it was coming from?"

Mom-"Well, even if you didn't use it in an accident, you could use it to thwart perverts and theives and car jackers."

"Oh, really? So a purse-snatcher runs up on me, I blow my whistle and it scares him off before he has a chance to gallop off into the sunset with my bag? Good thinking. And if a car-jacker bangs on my window with a gun, I just let loose on the whistle and he'll run for cover before anyone spots him. And best of all, a rapist has me trapped ALONE in a deserted parking lot, I just toot my little whistle and the police will come running with their billyclubs. I feel so safe now!"

Mom- "Oh never mind!"

Fast forward five years.. My mom calls me, "J'aime, have you heard of that new thing called OnStar?"

Here we go again!