2010: Leaving the past in the past.. Kind of.

Welp, there went 2010.. Pretty much the craziest year of my life, and I have had some insane times, let me tell ya!

Let's do a rewind. Because I think the last day of 2010 was by far the weirdest day of the year.

December 31, 2010: Everything was fine.. OR SO IT SEEMED.. Hahaha.....

I spent most of the day making myself pretty. Why?? Well, New Years Eve seemed like a pretty good excuse to get all cute-ed up. I did my hair nice and big, lots of curls, could pretty much pass for a wig.. You know how I roll. I even did fake lashes (gasp!). I got Emma dressed up in a cute outfit, and Matt was looking super fly. We were ready to paint the town red!

I know what you're thinking... Who takes a two year old out on New Years Eve?? I do! That's who.. Plus, neither of us were going to be drinking or doing anything more wild than perhaps performing a fabulous rendition of "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now," on my brand new KARAOKE MACHINE! (woot! woot!!)

We arrived at our dinner destination with 30 of our closest friends.. (Lol, like I have more than ten friends (Pah-leez!) but seriously, we had 30 people in our group... My Brother-in-law and Sis-in-law are like, super popular.) So we get seated and Matt and I are the only ones with a kid in tow but that is totally fine because she is so damn cute!

So we order our sushi and I'm shootin' the breeze with the ladies and all of the sudden, Emma leans back (she's on my lap) and literally, a stream of vomit shoots out of her mouth like a goddamn firehose. I manage to catch a handful of it in my left hand (and that took some skills because I still don't know how I ended up with it) and then it was over. I looked at Matt and said, "She's throwing up." (Hi, Obviousness, I know we've met before, but dayumm...) He looked at her and said, "Are you okay?" Those were the magic words because she looked up and did it AGAIN... And it's not just a little mouthful, it's like this vomit is coming from the depths of Hell and being expelled out of my daughter's teeny-tiny body.. I went into a trance like state at that point.. One hand still cupping the first bout of throw up, I stare straight ahead while Emma continues to wretch all over my front and Matt continues to yell with increasing volume, "ARE YOU OKAY?!" over and over again until she finally stops.

This is the best part of the story... We were seated in one of those huge round booths and we were not on the end.. Almost on the end, but in just enough that there was no escape. I feel like the vomit fairies were like, "Haha, suck on that, New Years Eve!"

So, Matt finally whisked Emma away to the restroom to clean up. I looked at my sissy and said, "What should I do with this?" and proceeded to give her the handful of throw-up. Then I took the walk of shame to the restroom which could not have been further away.. Then Matt, Emma and I went home to do laundry and shower. Matt and Emma were asleep by 11 and I stayed up til 2 watching Discovery ID.

HAPPY FREAKIN' NEW YEARS!!!

Next on the list of 2010: How many cartwheels does it take to make your whole body hurt for a week? Give me a few shots of grape vodka and I'll let you know.. (Hint: Schfourteenteen)

 Still don't understand?? You will.